Hopeful Nihilist

“Here is my home, and here is the love of my life” said the hopeful nihilist gesturing to an empty room. “There isn’t a thing here.” Replied her guest. The hopeful nihilist looked about, confused. “What do you mean? I see a carpet, and look there is more paint than most humans see in their…

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I Should Tell You

I should tell you now, before I forget, about the color green. I should tell you about its radiation after a long day of rain, how you won’t believe how vibrant the color can be, how consuming it is to the human eye in the center of the Alaskan tundra. I should tell you about…

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You are Grand.

It seems I’ve become one of those seventy-two-hour-freak-shows that parade around the Internet behind some absurd headline. I don’t think many people will go out of their way to see this blog and read this statement so I’ll say this to those of you invested enough to come find the real me. I am not…

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Soliloquy to a Trash Can

When I turned 14 my parents suddenly stopped supplying me with everything I wanted. I thus was forced to obtain employment at a water park. Not only did I decide to work in a water park, the most trite of first job options, but I decided to work as a park service employee. This meant…

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Jackpot Popcorn

The spring of eighth grade my father lost his job. For months we struggled, ate rice and beans for every meal and missed the premier of every grand movie we’d been waiting for. As a newly endowed teenager, I was deeply disturbed by the predicament. I thus concluded that I had to obtain employment to…

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